


Day Seventy-Nine || Rapid Breakdown

by 365daysofsasuhina



Series: 365 Days of SasuHina 2019 [79]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 22:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18186626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/365daysofsasuhina/pseuds/365daysofsasuhina
Summary: Coming back to Konoha hasn't magically cured Sasuke of all he's suffered...and so far, he's refused to address it. Hinata just hopes she can gently change his mind before it's too late.





	Day Seventy-Nine || Rapid Breakdown

It amazes her just how quickly things can change.

One moment they’re walking down a street, or standing in the kitchen, or just...sitting quietly, anywhere. Then somehow, some way, his brain makes a connection that hurdles him into a rapid breakdown. Muscles tense, eyes widen, gaze suddenly a million miles away. He’s no longer aware of her, of their surroundings. He’s gone, in another place entirely. Instinct kicks in. 

So far, he hasn’t taken it far enough to harm her. Hinata knows that if it were to come to that...he’d probably call it quits then and there, and never change his mind. Sasuke’s already fearful enough of the possibility. If he ever lifted a hand to her...

She tries to talk him through it. Offers ideas like counseling, or meditation. But he remains adamant that these slips of consciousness are beyond such methods.

“Can you at least talk to  _ me _ …? There’s so much about what you went through that I don’t know, that you won’t tell me -”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t…” A hand weaves back through his hair in frustration. “...I don’t want you knowing what I know. Not with this stuff. It’s bad enough it lives in  _ my _ head. I can’t do that to you, Hinata.”

She’s not sure what else to do.

So she goes to the one person who might.

Itachi listens to her pleas and explanations with woven fingers braced against his mouth. “...I see...I admit, I feared this.”

“You did…?”

Sighing, he bows his head to instead rest hands to his brow. “...much of what Sasuke suffered is my fault. It is a major reason I agreed to be revived: to atone for those mistakes, and attempt to remedy them. But I am not a healer - of the body,  _ or _ the mind. Nor do I think Sasuke will admit himself to such methods.”

“But your wife -?”

“We’ve talked about it...she’s willing to try, but she won’t force him. Nor will I. In the end, that may do more harm than good.”

“...I don’t know what else to do...he  _ needs _ to talk about these things! I know talking isn’t easy for him...but even to me…” The admission stings her pride, but only in regards to feeling useless to him. If they’re to make this work, he has to trust her.

Doesn’t he trust her?

“Nor I. Sasuke keeps these things close to his chest. It’s not a matter of distrust, I don’t think...more a want to protect us from what he thinks, what he feels. In my case, at least, I believe he wants to avoid addressing the true extent of my damage to him. Which...makes my atonement rather difficult. And he doesn’t want to hurt you, Hinata. Perhaps he also wants to avoid admitting to the things he’s done.”

“I already know most of his mistakes! There’s l-little  _ not _ knowing them - not with all our class has talked. Naruto-kun and Sakura-chan, they -”

“That, I fear, is another tender subject. Sasuke’s relationships with his team remain...strained.” Itachi sighs, a hand dragging down his face. “...there are many layers to the damage of Sasuke’s psyche. My role in shaping him, the bonds he had and how they turned toxic, the measures he had to go to in order to reach goals that either ended in failure, or...turned out to be the wrong choice. Sasuke has so much to process, and has had so little time to do it. And he is far too used to keeping such things to himself: to not having that outlet. Now that he does, he’s unsure how to use them. Instead, he constantly breaks down and only retreats deeper.”

The pair fall into a thoughtful, somber silence.

“I think, in the end...we might have to be a bit forceful. Not in an angry or aggressive way, but in a persistent, firm-yet-gentle way. Sasuke is...stubborn,” Hinata notes, knowing how obvious that is. “I think in order to contend with it, we have to be just as unyielding. If we keep backing down, it will only get w-worse.”

“Hm...perhaps you’re right. Give it a try, but...be careful, Hinata. We don’t want to push him away further.”

”I will.”

She arranges to meet him the next afternoon, in a quiet but public place: her favorite tucked-away cafe. Hopefully exposed enough to keep him from lashing out, but not enough to make him uncomfortable with talking with her. For a time, things pass normally enough...until she breeches the subject.

“Sasuke…”

“Hm?”

Hands folded atop the table, Hinata stares at them. “...about the, um... _ incident _ the other day -”

“I told you, I don’t want to -”

“Let me finish.”

The retort is calm, but firm...and to her surprise, he stops.

“...Sasuke...I know you’re afraid of hurting me. But if you want this -  _ us _ \- to work...you  _ need _ to talk to me. Lingering and ignoring the problem until it b-blows up isn’t any better than avoiding it now.” Pale eyes look up to him. “...I know you don’t want to talk about it. About  _ them _ \- the things that still bother you. But unless you do...they’re going to keep eating at you. And eventually...it will start costing you. Even if you don’t hurt me physically...if this doesn’t get addressed...I’m not sure I can stay.”

Sasuke, in turn, stares at the table, eyes slightly wide. He doesn’t reply.

“...I’m not going to judge you. And knowing these things won’t hurt me. Not as much as being with someone who keeps his past so tightly under wraps that I can’t understand him...or help him. You  _ need  _ help, Sasuke - and there’s nothing  _ wrong _ with that. Nothing wrong, or weak, or unnecessary about that. It’s just a fact.”

Gently, she reaches and lays a hand above his, which twitches...but doesn’t retreat. “...if you had a wound, and it was infected...and caused you great pain...you’d treat it, wouldn’t you? Your mind is a part of your body. And these...these episodes? They tell me that you’re unwell. And we want to help you treat it. Me, Itachi, his family...we’re worried about you.” For now, she avoids mentioning those like his team. It’s not the right time.

“...just...think about it. Okay? We’re here to help you because we love you. And seeing you go through this...it’s painful…! We don’t want to change you, or judge you. It won’t hurt us to help you. It will, in turn, help us. We’re all in this together...ne?”

After a long pause, he sighs, apparently relenting...if only just. “...I’ll think about it. I’ve carried most of these burdens a long time, Hinata...I don’t even know if I’ll know who I am without them. They’ve...defined me for so long…”

“They’re part of you, but they’re  _ not _ you. There’s still a whole person underneath them! And we can help you find him. He won’t be the same as before...he’ll have scars. But right now, those wounds are still o-open. We need to help them close...okay? At whatever pace you want. Slow and steady. I love you, Sasuke...and that means wanting you to be well. In  _ all _ ways.”

“...I’ll try. Just...let me think about it.”

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is late and bad and my eyeballs are burning @~@ Long day, so I'll be brief.
> 
> Sasuke has a LOT to unpack mentally in ALAS - it's not just brushed over like in canon. He fears his own reactions, but also has trouble facing their roots...but thankfully he has a support system now he hasn't had before. So, slowly but surely, he WILL get there. It just takes time, and patience.
> 
> And now I'm gonna go crash - hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading~


End file.
